When you read this word, what does it conjure in your brain?
What does to it mean to you?
For me it’s been almost a feeling of panic. To surrender means a laying down of arms and allowing myself to be vulnerable. Exposed.
To surrender meant that all would see the raw, squishy, shameful parts of me. The girl who struggles with her self image, has crazy expectations of/for her life and then flogs herself for not meeting them. The fear that no one would want to listen to, or learn from someone who is this flawed and can’t seem to get her shit together.
And so I got really good at keeping myself busy, always “doing” and maintaining a strong front to the world, thinking I had it all handled.
And then came my massive wake up call.
What area of your life has consistently been the set for your greatest life lessons? The one that has been used over and over again. Is it relationships, emotions, family, health/physical, career/vocation, mental, financial or social interactions?
My biggest learning tool in my life is my business.
Everything was trucking along beautifully, and then in a 3 week period it just fell apart. I was shocked. I felt so betrayed by the universe and my faith shaken to the core. I didn’t have it in me to put it all back together again. I couldn’t. I’ve rebuilt it so many times in the past, dusted myself off and just got on with it. But this time it was different.
I couldn’t deny myself anymore and I begrudgingly realised all I could do was surrender.
Argh! The thing I have been running from my entire life I ran straight into (Sound familiar?) Pushing and forcing wasn’t the answer (I tried.. believe me I did) and honestly this surrender experience sucked!!!
I did not surrender gracefully. It felt like torture, but all I could do was take a step back and focus on nurturing and supporting me.
I took the pressure off my business needing to look and feel like “something” and instead focused on faith, although I had to remind myself this was what I was doing at least 10 times a day! Tapping into the gut level knowledge that I’m being looked after even though my brain was freaking out when I looked at my bank account.
I got back into my daily self care rituals. Meditation, Journalling, Essential Oils and Movement.
And what do you know, like magic my business has started to flow again. When I stopped fighting and allowed myself to respond to what I needed, I created a space for growth. But I feel very different about my business now. The things the propelled me forward don’t any more.
I still don’t have all the answers, but I feel like I’m actually now on the path that is me. I just have to keep reminding myself the answers are inside of me, but I have to be vigilant and create a space where I can tap into that.
What Essential Oils did I use?
Ironically a majority of the essential oils I dislike the fragrance of are the calming oils: German Chamomile, Roman Chamomile (they’re the worst!), valerian, even lavender isn’t up there with my favourites.
And Young Living’s blend Surrender? The first time I smelled it I dry reached.
I’ve been through many bottles of Surrender over the years and I don’t gag anymore at the smell, but I never wore it as a perfume just for fun!
What essential oils do you dislike or have a negative reaction too?
These oils are showing you where there is imbalance in your life. An area you’ve been ignoring (or even for some, suppressed memories). When you are ready they are the oils to use to support you bringing balance into your life.
I’ve been layering Young Living blends Surrender with Trauma Life (alas that has been out of stock for a while) & Transformation. Applying them over my heart and behind my ears.
The biggest surprise for me is that I’m finally moving into a space where I feel nurtured by the fragrance of Surrender oil, rather than assaulted by it!
If you feel like you need support & guidance to reconnect to yourself become a part of my I-lluminate Group Mentoring Program
Keep Yourself Well Oiled