Breaking the habit of being yourself
I’m about to turn 34 years old, and it has taken until now for me to actually start to realise I have been lying to myself for a very long time. I have always wanted to be someone other than who I am. Someone taller, with curly hair, skinnier, more successful, more beautiful, basically anything other than who looks back at me in the mirror every morning. So I have spent a very long time flogging myself for not meeting my perfect image. And even when I was skinnier it wasn’t enough.
The fact is that I’ll will never be that dream perfect person I’ve always wanted to be. Because who I am is who I’m meant to be. God the universe or what ever you want to call it doesn’t make mistakes.
My best friend said to me, “I don’t like hanging out with perfect people. They make me feel so bad about myself.” And she is right. Truly. Beauty is in the imperfection. I have been so scared for so long now that it is a reflex action. But the truth is I really don’t hate myself anymore. I’m actually ok with who I am, but I live the habit of hating myself.
Just like the habit of bushing my teeth before going to bed every night. I live with the habit of looking for all the ways I am imperfect in my life. Habits are not impossible to break. But in fact its not about breaking them at all. Rather it is about creating new habits. Creating new neuron pathways for the brain to send signals down.
So how do you do that?
A great book is called Breaking the habit of being yourself It’s by Joe Dispenza and gives you great exercises you can do to change the way you think about yourself and your life. He has some great stuff on You Tube as well.